You can’t fix stupid even though you try and try.
God why-o-way did you make him this way?
What the hell is a quadratic equation?
Why is he so damn dumb he doesn't know what the blazes to say?
You can’t figure out shit,
You’re as dumb as they come.
You say, what the hell is the port of embarkation?
And no the answer to 9 divided by 3 is not the sum.
So you go to school to be a scumble-dee-bumb
You’ve got to have some visible means of support.
And so you go scumble-dee-bummin’ all the day long.
Hey look at me, I’m a success, you say with retort.
There’s nothing worse that a smart ass dummy.
To this fact I can certainly attest.
Just go get in line with the slow people.
You’re just like them, your as stupid as the rest.
They tell him he has a PhD in stupidity.
He's the dumbest of them all.
They taught him about humpty-dumpty
and how he had a great fall.
They want to keep his brain for posterity as an example.
So they take his brain out and keep it in a jar.
They said he's the stupidest of all.
With his brilliance he should be a drug Czar.
So he says "I’m going to be the best scumble-dee-bumb that I can be.
Even people like me have aspirations don’t you know."
There’s no chance that he'd ever stop being stupid.
Cause you just can’t fix stupid no matter to what lengths you go.
God why-o-way did you make him this way?
What the hell is a quadratic equation?
Why is he so damn dumb he doesn't know what the blazes to say?
You can’t figure out shit,
You’re as dumb as they come.
You say, what the hell is the port of embarkation?
And no the answer to 9 divided by 3 is not the sum.
So you go to school to be a scumble-dee-bumb
You’ve got to have some visible means of support.
And so you go scumble-dee-bummin’ all the day long.
Hey look at me, I’m a success, you say with retort.
There’s nothing worse that a smart ass dummy.
To this fact I can certainly attest.
Just go get in line with the slow people.
You’re just like them, your as stupid as the rest.
They tell him he has a PhD in stupidity.
He's the dumbest of them all.
They taught him about humpty-dumpty
and how he had a great fall.
They want to keep his brain for posterity as an example.
So they take his brain out and keep it in a jar.
They said he's the stupidest of all.
With his brilliance he should be a drug Czar.
So he says "I’m going to be the best scumble-dee-bumb that I can be.
Even people like me have aspirations don’t you know."
There’s no chance that he'd ever stop being stupid.
Cause you just can’t fix stupid no matter to what lengths you go.