It continued to rain throughout the day; the taxi business was brisk. It was going on 5:00 o’clock and John was getting tired. His clothes had dried since changing the flat in the rain. He couldn’t wait to get home to his wife Kim and little Davie, after a short detour.
He hit speed dial on his cell phone; the phone rang three times and Sally, his dispatcher, answered.
“It’s almost five Sally, I’m off the clock. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“That’s fine John ; talk to you in the morning.”
John hung up the phone, and headed up main street and parked his cab in front of Will’s tavern. He always liked to have a couple of beers before going home.
Will’s had a few people drinking and socializing in the late afternoon; it got crowed after about 9:00 o‘clock, but at this time of day, there weren’t that many customers. John eased up to the bar and sat down next to Barb Congers, a petite little blond that John had known since high school. Actually, he had first met her on a camping trip at a near by lake when they were children. He didn’t see her again until she and her family moved to Andover. He had found it difficult to avoid her when he was in high school with her; she was a real pest.
“Hey Barb. . . .How‘s it going Will? I‘ll take a beer . . . .” Will got a fresh glass and popped the top on a long neck bottle of Slitz beer.
“How you been Barb?”
“I been alright John . . . .How‘s Kim and the baby?”
“They’re doin’ alright too.”
“Are you still working at the shirt factory, or are you just taking it easy these days?”
“Still there John. Can’t complain much; the money is good. We’ve been getting lots of overtime since we got that new contract. Why don’t you go over to the employment office and put in an application. Or are you still happy driving the cab?”
“Well, it’s OK. It keeps me in touch with what’s happening around town. I do like to drive ya know.”
John couldn’t help noticing the tight sweater Barb was wearing. He tried to keep his eye on Barb’s face, but wasn’t having much luck. She was a very cute little women and she knew it. She kept looking at John with her big brown doe eyes, blinking incessantly. Her perfume made her extremely desirable; he didn’t know what brand it was, but he thought he should get some for his wife Kim.
He grinned a childish grin and swooned like a little school boy as he stared into her eyes. Barb couldn’t think of anything to say after a while and their silence was overcome with the sounds of the bar. The video game in the back whistled and popped and rang continually. Phil Collins was on the jukebox. The conversations of the other people in the bar were a muffled and unintelligible rumble.. John and Barb sipped their drinks and finally Barb said, “So why don’t you meet me here later tonight and we can have a couple of drinks and see what develops.”
Without thinking John replied, “Well Barb, what do you think could possibly develop?” Then, after feeling like he had been hit in the head with a whiffle ball bat, it struck him: “This damn women is coming on to me!“
She smiled sweetly and twisted her finger in her hair. John’s face turned a reddish hue and he sat there like an impish child, knowing what he wanted to say but not having the nerve to say it. He became cursorily aware of his sexuality and felt an awakening. He appeared to be shy, but in reality he was embarrassed by the raw sexual energy that developed when he talked to women.
“Well a, I a, well you know, I guess we could just talk for a while about old times in school and there wouldn’t be any harm in that.. Well now, I guess we sure could do that, Barb. What time would you like to meet me here?”
Barb reached over and ran a fingernail gently down his forearm, stared off into space for a moment, and with the cutest and most alluring smile she could muster, finally said, “How about 7:00.” They sat momentarily suspended, with mutual exclusivity, in sexually charged contemplation - Their eyes locked. She felt the energy of sexual arousal.
“I guess that sounds just fine, Barb.” John said, thinking to himself that he would just say yes for now and then he could just not show up - anything to get out of this embarrassing situation.
“OK well, I guess I better get going right now, so I‘ll see you at 7:00.”
John backed away from his bar stool, leaving a half full bottle of beer, still facing Barb, and backed into a table behind him; he stumbled and waved, still with his sheepish grin and turned and went out the front door. He knew that Barb had always had a crush on him during the time that they were in high school together, but now, he was a married man.
“What the heck is up with this,” he thought. He couldn’t believe that he had done that; he had made a date with another women. What if Kim found out about it; she’d kill him. It could ruin his marriage. But it really was so exciting to think that he might have a chance of having a relationship with Barb and still stay married to Kim. This went against his principles; but wow, was this unreal or what. Maybe he wouldn’t meet her; “What should he do?” He thought. He still had a couple of hours to think about it. He absolutely couldn’t believe he had said yes to her.
He sat down in his cab and lit another cigarette; he was dumbfounded. He was sure nobody heard what they were talking about. “I could do this, “ He thought, “I could really do this. Kim would never find out . . . . Or would she? God this was exciting! Life is good! Really good! What if I’m wrong, and Kim does find out? Then life would be adversely affected forever. . . . God this was great! I never thought I‘d have to make a decision like this!” he thought.
John started the car and backed out of the parking space. He headed up main street toward his house. All the way home he thought highly of himself for having said yes to Barb; he felt that this was a progressive thing to do: Just have a drink with the women. What harm could there be in that? He knew he shouldn’t meet her, that it was probably the wrong thing to do; he simply couldn’t make up his mind. Turning right on Aster street, he proceeded the seven blocks to his house. He turned into the driveway, flipped his cigarette out the window, rolled it up, and went inside.
* * * *
There were many fine homes in Andover and Kim and John’s house was much like most of the houses in town; it was a small though, with only two bedrooms; the house was on an acre of land, with a small brook at the end of the property; it was on the outskirts of town. Beyond the brook, was forest land. There was also a weathered, unpainted, storage building along the north side of the yard. John kept his tools and other miscellaneous junk in the building. There was one very large tree in John ’s back yard; it was probably 100 years old. The trunk was massive and the limbs traveled an expanse that covered almost the entire yard. The foliage on the limbs was thick and lush and had many shades of green.
They rented their house from old lady Houser - an old spinster who had the first penny she had ever earned. She was a writer for the “Valley Voice,” the local newspaper. She owned several other houses in the valley, was a nice old woman, and rented most of her houses to young families that were just starting out in life - at a cheap price.
As John entered the house, Kim looked up from her TV show, “Hey John ,” she said. “How was your day?”
“It was alright; we were very busy -- made lots of money. How are you feeling today?” He gave Kim a kiss on the forehead and at the same time thought, “Man have I got a secret; you wouldn’t believe what happened to me today!”
“I’m OK,” she said. “I think I’ll be able to take the baby from your mom real soon. The doctor said he thought I was coming along well. Like we talked, I’ll be able to go back to work in a month or so. The doctor said I could get up and move around tonight. Your sister Mary said she’d be over in a little while to fix dinner. I think she said she was going fix pork chops.”
Kim had been confined to bed since the baby was born. They had opened up the hide a bed in the living room for her to sleep on. John had been sleeping in the front bedroom. The neighbor lady, Ella, had just left -- she had been there all day, taking care of Kim. That’s the way their neighbors were, always ready to help a friend out; also, it enabled them to be totally knowledgeable about Kim and John ’s business.
“Had a flat today,” John blurted out. “Got soaked changing it. I was pretty mad about it too. Hit a pot hole over on main street.” His short, Neanderthal, guttural, sentences were factual and to the point; despite of, or maybe because of, his encounter with Barb, he found himself in a sullen mood; this wasn’t going to be as easy as he had at first thought. How could he cheat on Kim. “What if she did that to me? I don’t think I could handle that,” he thought . . . . He always felt better after a shower. . . . “Maybe that will help,” he thought.
“I think I’m going to take a shower before Mary gets here,” he said. He always had a clear head after a shower. He’d have to think long and hard about this development with Barb . . . .
Kim was half listening while watching the TV. She waved a hand at John , without looking away. Oprah had just ended and Jeopardy had started. She was totally engrossed in the TV.
John opened the basement door, after getting his clean clothes, and skipped down the steps. The shower was in the basement. There was no shower enclosure though - just a shower head sticking down out of the floor joists, and a drain in the floor. The basement was practically empty except for the coal burning furnace and a large pile of coal in the coal bin. Soot covered most of the floor and walls; actually, it was more like a cellar than a basement. Kim and John had approached old lady Houser about updating the heating system, but she had declined. The musky smell of coal and mildew permeated the air. Spider webs hung from the floor joist in silken handy-work patterns made by the tiny, creatures of the dark reclusive spaces of the cellar.
He hung his towel on a hook, laid his clean clothes on the steps, and turned on the shower. They had unbelievable water pressure; the water came out so strongly that it stung the skin when it hit you, like thousands of bee stings. The bare light bulb shown dimly as John disrobed and stepped in to the shower. He began to sing to himself; he wasn’t much of a singer but he made up for it with enthusiasm. His mother had always told him the cleanliness was next Godliness; he didn’t know about that - religion didn’t really impress him very much - all he knew was that he felt wonderful after a good hot shower.
He stood motionless under the steaming deluge of hot water for a very long time; he began to relax, but his thoughts drifted to Barb and he wrestled with his desire for her. “Why would he do such a thing?” he thought. He pictured himself in the bedroom with her; he imagined that he watched her undress; he imagined that they embraced, and caressed gently; their passion for one another grew to it‘s pinnacle, and they reached climax simultaneously. As he continued to shower, he realized that he had become sexually aroused. “What the hell am I going to do!”
“He knew that he knew what he wanted to do with Barb, but what was this feeling of guilt he felt - just the thought of having sex with her made him feel guilty - little own actually consummating his desire. “What kind of crap was this?” he thought. He supposed he had spent too much time around his mother; these feelings were definitely of his mothers ilk and her puritanical existence. “ Damn it, just damn it, that’s all!” he fumed at himself. “What the hell am I going to do?” he thought again. Finally, he supposed that he really loved Kim more than he thought. Betraying a trust - that was it - betraying a trust - that was what was at the heart of what was bothering him.
Meanwhile, upstairs, the news had come on the TV and Mary, John ’s sister, had arrived. She placed little Davie on the bed next to Kim. He googled and awed at Kim. He was a wonderful bundle of joy and his existence brought much happiness to everyone.
“There’s my little man . . . . How are you doing, you cute little punkin. Momma missed you today.” She picked him up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and nuzzled his face with her own.
“What have you been doing today? Did you miss momma?”.
Mary was in the kitchen peeling potatoes.
“I brought you a couple of magazines to read, Kim. ‘Us magazine and Psychology Today.’”
“John had a flat today . . . . Big news huh?” Kim said sarcastically. “Said he got really mad about it.” Luckily for John she didn’t know about John’s other news.
“Well that don’t surprise me at all . . . . He can be a real hot head. When is he going to go up to the mine and put in his application? Daddy said they’d hire him for sure. (It seemed that everyone wanted John to get a better job than driving a taxi.) He’d make a lot more money. I don‘t know what he‘s waiting for.”
“Well Mary, he’s wantin to work on that part time insurance agent job,“ replied Kim. “He thinks he can make pretty good money sellin insurance.”
“If you ask me, he needs to go to work in the mine with daddy,” Mary snapped back, “He‘d have a real good job up there.”
Mary was four years older than John and felt that her vast experience in life qualified her to tell him what to do. John usually took whatever she had to say with a grain-of-salt. In other words, he flat out ignored her.
* * * *
There was a garage door in the back wall of the basement. When John finished his shower, he put his pants on and opened the garage door. The yard opened up beyond the back of the house; it was green and lush. John sat down in a lawn chair, with remnants of unresolved sexual arousal, and lit a cigarette. “What a day,” he thought. He always felt good after taking a shower -- refreshed. “Life is good.” he thought, “really good, but what about Barb?” He was in quite a quandary.
John’s dog Lucky was in a pin at the back of the yard. He was a red haired cocker spaniel -- 2 yrs old. Lucky barked and ran back and forth in his pin, trying to get John ’s attention. “Shut up Lucky,“ he yelled at the dog, heading down through the yard to let him out. The rain had stopped, but the grass was wet and cool on his bare feet.
Once free, Lucky ran full out, as fast as he could, around the perimeter of the back yard. He ran past John over and over again like a bull charging a matador. John went into the storage shed and got some dog food for Lucky; he filled his water bowl from the faucet next to the shed and headed back toward the house.
Mary had been watching out the back window; she commented to Kim, “You should see Lucky run Kim; he’s running like a bullet shot out of a
gun.” She yelled out the window, “Dinners almost ready John ; come on in.”
John and Lucky went into the basement and John closed the garage door. Lucky beat him up the stairs and waited for him to open the door at the top. Once in the kitchen, Lucky barked and ran back and forth from Kim on the hid abed to Mary in the kitchen; finally, he stopped next to Kim on the hid abed, bowing down on his front legs, he began to bark at Davie.
“Now you leave Davie alone,“ John snapped at Lucky. He swung at Lucky and he cowered and ran to the kitchen. His exuberance left Lucky spent on the floor, with his tongue hanging out, and he panted heavily; his spittle dripped onto the floor. Lucky had been John’s pride and joy, until little Davie came along; now, he was second fiddle. Lucky didn’t know it though.
Dinner was ready and the three of them sat down to eat. Mary had fixed corn and green beans to go along with the potatoes and pork chops. The aroma of the food made their mouths water. John was tense; he was always tense when Mary was around. She constantly meddled in their lives and John resented it.
“So did you put in your application at the mine yet?” Mary inquired.
“Here we go,” John thought. “She never gives me a break.”
Rather than get into an argument with her, he simply said, “Goin up there tomorrow.” which wasn’t true, but he thought that should put an end to an unwanted conversation. They ate in silence. After finishing their meal, Mary cleared the dinner dishes and changed Davies’ diaper.
Little Davie started to make a fuss; he had been napping on the hid abed; it was dinner time for him too. Mary got a bottle out of refrigerator and put it on the stove to warm. After feeding the baby, they settled down to watch a little TV. John was half way planning to go out this evening to meet Barb, but decided to wait a while before leaving. Mary would be here for a while, watching TV with Kim and he thought it would be better if she were unaware that he was going out. John loved being married and having a baby, but he also liked his freedom. He was a regular a Will Pastorino’s tavern; he also loved his beer. He couldn’t keep his mind off of Barb. Should he meet her or not - what a dilemma. They watched TV for a little while and Mary made sure little Davie didn’t need anything.
“Will you be able to take care of Davie after I leave Kim?” Mary asked.
“I thought you were taking Davie back to your mom’s tonight.“
“Oh, Okay, I can do that; I just thought you were going to keep him tonight.”
“I would love to keep him, but I guess it really would be better if your mom watched him again tonight.“
* * * *
John had taken Lucky back outside and put him in his pen. He sat down in a lawn chair to relax after dinner. Kim didn’t like it when he went to Will’s tavern; she also didn’t like the fact that he drank beer, but she realized that there was nothing that she could do about it. She hated the fact that he smoked cigarettes: “Those things are nasty!” was her usual comment regarding John ’s smoking -- These ideas came from her strict Southern Baptist upbringing.
John smoked a cigarette and tried to think of a reason for him to leave the house tonight - Kim and Mary would be busy with little Davie so all he needed was a reason that Kim would accept without causing an argument. He didn’t mind lying if it really suited his purpose. A lodge meeting, that was it, he would tell her he had a lodge meeting; she never minded his lodge meetings. He thought about it; he was loosing his nerve - if he ever had any nerve in the first place.
It was going on 6:30 and if he was going to go he needed to just do it. There really wasn’t anything wrong with just meeting Barb for a drink. It wasn’t really a date. They could just have a drink and talk for a while. No harm in that. “It’s settled then,” he thought, “I‘ll just go meet her.”
John went back inside and without hesitation, said to Kim, “I’ve got a lodge meeting at 7:00 tonight, I hope you don’t mind. I’ll only be gone for a little over an hour. You’ll be alright with Mary here for a while won’t you?”
“I’ll be alright John . . . . Just don’t be too late.” Little did she know that her confidence was about to be compromised. After all, “what she didn’t know wouldn’t cause her any problems,” thought John .
“Spring showers bring May flowers,“ he thought, or some nonsense crap that his mother use to say; he dodged the rain drops, as he left his house and got in his cab to go to the tavern. John was nervous; his palms were sweating; he was about to do something that he kind of thought was wrong, but had decided to do it anyway. He wasn’t always stalwart - most of the time, but not always.
Barb was sitting at a table in the back of the bar. She had on a low cut blouse, tight jeans and her hair was in a ponytail. Her makeup was perfect and she couldn’t wait for John to get there. She was sexually on edge in apprehension of her encounter with John . She was over sexed and “had a thing” for almost every man she knew. - but this thing with John : “oh my god, this was really going to be sweet.”
John circled the block that the bar was on -- “couldn’t do it . . . . Shouldn’t do it.” . . . . He circled the block six times, then made his final decision. Despite the fact that he was sexually aroused, he finally said to himself, “I just can’t do it.” Maybe he was a better person than he thought he was.
He felt good about his decision. He was proud of himself. He would not compromise his marriage for a little conversation with another women.
He fantasized about what might have happened. It was vivid in his mind; he had even thought about the motel he would take her to. All that stemming from a brief encounter at Will’s bar. Now it wouldn’t happen; he was glad. He drove to the park at the lake where the city water works was located. He pulled into a parking space near the picnic tables, turned off the engine, turned on the radio, and prepared to wait for an hour to pass, and then he would go home; no harm done.
Barb waited; a half hour passed, then an hour. “He wasn’t coming . . . . I knew he wouldn’t show.” She finished her drink and left for home. “He had no idea what he was going to miss out on. . . .It was his loss.” she thought. Sometimes, he didn’t like himself when he did the right thing; “some people seem to have all the fun! They just have all the damn fun! Damn it, just damn it, that‘s all!”
He hit speed dial on his cell phone; the phone rang three times and Sally, his dispatcher, answered.
“It’s almost five Sally, I’m off the clock. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“That’s fine John ; talk to you in the morning.”
John hung up the phone, and headed up main street and parked his cab in front of Will’s tavern. He always liked to have a couple of beers before going home.
Will’s had a few people drinking and socializing in the late afternoon; it got crowed after about 9:00 o‘clock, but at this time of day, there weren’t that many customers. John eased up to the bar and sat down next to Barb Congers, a petite little blond that John had known since high school. Actually, he had first met her on a camping trip at a near by lake when they were children. He didn’t see her again until she and her family moved to Andover. He had found it difficult to avoid her when he was in high school with her; she was a real pest.
“Hey Barb. . . .How‘s it going Will? I‘ll take a beer . . . .” Will got a fresh glass and popped the top on a long neck bottle of Slitz beer.
“How you been Barb?”
“I been alright John . . . .How‘s Kim and the baby?”
“They’re doin’ alright too.”
“Are you still working at the shirt factory, or are you just taking it easy these days?”
“Still there John. Can’t complain much; the money is good. We’ve been getting lots of overtime since we got that new contract. Why don’t you go over to the employment office and put in an application. Or are you still happy driving the cab?”
“Well, it’s OK. It keeps me in touch with what’s happening around town. I do like to drive ya know.”
John couldn’t help noticing the tight sweater Barb was wearing. He tried to keep his eye on Barb’s face, but wasn’t having much luck. She was a very cute little women and she knew it. She kept looking at John with her big brown doe eyes, blinking incessantly. Her perfume made her extremely desirable; he didn’t know what brand it was, but he thought he should get some for his wife Kim.
He grinned a childish grin and swooned like a little school boy as he stared into her eyes. Barb couldn’t think of anything to say after a while and their silence was overcome with the sounds of the bar. The video game in the back whistled and popped and rang continually. Phil Collins was on the jukebox. The conversations of the other people in the bar were a muffled and unintelligible rumble.. John and Barb sipped their drinks and finally Barb said, “So why don’t you meet me here later tonight and we can have a couple of drinks and see what develops.”
Without thinking John replied, “Well Barb, what do you think could possibly develop?” Then, after feeling like he had been hit in the head with a whiffle ball bat, it struck him: “This damn women is coming on to me!“
She smiled sweetly and twisted her finger in her hair. John’s face turned a reddish hue and he sat there like an impish child, knowing what he wanted to say but not having the nerve to say it. He became cursorily aware of his sexuality and felt an awakening. He appeared to be shy, but in reality he was embarrassed by the raw sexual energy that developed when he talked to women.
“Well a, I a, well you know, I guess we could just talk for a while about old times in school and there wouldn’t be any harm in that.. Well now, I guess we sure could do that, Barb. What time would you like to meet me here?”
Barb reached over and ran a fingernail gently down his forearm, stared off into space for a moment, and with the cutest and most alluring smile she could muster, finally said, “How about 7:00.” They sat momentarily suspended, with mutual exclusivity, in sexually charged contemplation - Their eyes locked. She felt the energy of sexual arousal.
“I guess that sounds just fine, Barb.” John said, thinking to himself that he would just say yes for now and then he could just not show up - anything to get out of this embarrassing situation.
“OK well, I guess I better get going right now, so I‘ll see you at 7:00.”
John backed away from his bar stool, leaving a half full bottle of beer, still facing Barb, and backed into a table behind him; he stumbled and waved, still with his sheepish grin and turned and went out the front door. He knew that Barb had always had a crush on him during the time that they were in high school together, but now, he was a married man.
“What the heck is up with this,” he thought. He couldn’t believe that he had done that; he had made a date with another women. What if Kim found out about it; she’d kill him. It could ruin his marriage. But it really was so exciting to think that he might have a chance of having a relationship with Barb and still stay married to Kim. This went against his principles; but wow, was this unreal or what. Maybe he wouldn’t meet her; “What should he do?” He thought. He still had a couple of hours to think about it. He absolutely couldn’t believe he had said yes to her.
He sat down in his cab and lit another cigarette; he was dumbfounded. He was sure nobody heard what they were talking about. “I could do this, “ He thought, “I could really do this. Kim would never find out . . . . Or would she? God this was exciting! Life is good! Really good! What if I’m wrong, and Kim does find out? Then life would be adversely affected forever. . . . God this was great! I never thought I‘d have to make a decision like this!” he thought.
John started the car and backed out of the parking space. He headed up main street toward his house. All the way home he thought highly of himself for having said yes to Barb; he felt that this was a progressive thing to do: Just have a drink with the women. What harm could there be in that? He knew he shouldn’t meet her, that it was probably the wrong thing to do; he simply couldn’t make up his mind. Turning right on Aster street, he proceeded the seven blocks to his house. He turned into the driveway, flipped his cigarette out the window, rolled it up, and went inside.
* * * *
There were many fine homes in Andover and Kim and John’s house was much like most of the houses in town; it was a small though, with only two bedrooms; the house was on an acre of land, with a small brook at the end of the property; it was on the outskirts of town. Beyond the brook, was forest land. There was also a weathered, unpainted, storage building along the north side of the yard. John kept his tools and other miscellaneous junk in the building. There was one very large tree in John ’s back yard; it was probably 100 years old. The trunk was massive and the limbs traveled an expanse that covered almost the entire yard. The foliage on the limbs was thick and lush and had many shades of green.
They rented their house from old lady Houser - an old spinster who had the first penny she had ever earned. She was a writer for the “Valley Voice,” the local newspaper. She owned several other houses in the valley, was a nice old woman, and rented most of her houses to young families that were just starting out in life - at a cheap price.
As John entered the house, Kim looked up from her TV show, “Hey John ,” she said. “How was your day?”
“It was alright; we were very busy -- made lots of money. How are you feeling today?” He gave Kim a kiss on the forehead and at the same time thought, “Man have I got a secret; you wouldn’t believe what happened to me today!”
“I’m OK,” she said. “I think I’ll be able to take the baby from your mom real soon. The doctor said he thought I was coming along well. Like we talked, I’ll be able to go back to work in a month or so. The doctor said I could get up and move around tonight. Your sister Mary said she’d be over in a little while to fix dinner. I think she said she was going fix pork chops.”
Kim had been confined to bed since the baby was born. They had opened up the hide a bed in the living room for her to sleep on. John had been sleeping in the front bedroom. The neighbor lady, Ella, had just left -- she had been there all day, taking care of Kim. That’s the way their neighbors were, always ready to help a friend out; also, it enabled them to be totally knowledgeable about Kim and John ’s business.
“Had a flat today,” John blurted out. “Got soaked changing it. I was pretty mad about it too. Hit a pot hole over on main street.” His short, Neanderthal, guttural, sentences were factual and to the point; despite of, or maybe because of, his encounter with Barb, he found himself in a sullen mood; this wasn’t going to be as easy as he had at first thought. How could he cheat on Kim. “What if she did that to me? I don’t think I could handle that,” he thought . . . . He always felt better after a shower. . . . “Maybe that will help,” he thought.
“I think I’m going to take a shower before Mary gets here,” he said. He always had a clear head after a shower. He’d have to think long and hard about this development with Barb . . . .
Kim was half listening while watching the TV. She waved a hand at John , without looking away. Oprah had just ended and Jeopardy had started. She was totally engrossed in the TV.
John opened the basement door, after getting his clean clothes, and skipped down the steps. The shower was in the basement. There was no shower enclosure though - just a shower head sticking down out of the floor joists, and a drain in the floor. The basement was practically empty except for the coal burning furnace and a large pile of coal in the coal bin. Soot covered most of the floor and walls; actually, it was more like a cellar than a basement. Kim and John had approached old lady Houser about updating the heating system, but she had declined. The musky smell of coal and mildew permeated the air. Spider webs hung from the floor joist in silken handy-work patterns made by the tiny, creatures of the dark reclusive spaces of the cellar.
He hung his towel on a hook, laid his clean clothes on the steps, and turned on the shower. They had unbelievable water pressure; the water came out so strongly that it stung the skin when it hit you, like thousands of bee stings. The bare light bulb shown dimly as John disrobed and stepped in to the shower. He began to sing to himself; he wasn’t much of a singer but he made up for it with enthusiasm. His mother had always told him the cleanliness was next Godliness; he didn’t know about that - religion didn’t really impress him very much - all he knew was that he felt wonderful after a good hot shower.
He stood motionless under the steaming deluge of hot water for a very long time; he began to relax, but his thoughts drifted to Barb and he wrestled with his desire for her. “Why would he do such a thing?” he thought. He pictured himself in the bedroom with her; he imagined that he watched her undress; he imagined that they embraced, and caressed gently; their passion for one another grew to it‘s pinnacle, and they reached climax simultaneously. As he continued to shower, he realized that he had become sexually aroused. “What the hell am I going to do!”
“He knew that he knew what he wanted to do with Barb, but what was this feeling of guilt he felt - just the thought of having sex with her made him feel guilty - little own actually consummating his desire. “What kind of crap was this?” he thought. He supposed he had spent too much time around his mother; these feelings were definitely of his mothers ilk and her puritanical existence. “ Damn it, just damn it, that’s all!” he fumed at himself. “What the hell am I going to do?” he thought again. Finally, he supposed that he really loved Kim more than he thought. Betraying a trust - that was it - betraying a trust - that was what was at the heart of what was bothering him.
Meanwhile, upstairs, the news had come on the TV and Mary, John ’s sister, had arrived. She placed little Davie on the bed next to Kim. He googled and awed at Kim. He was a wonderful bundle of joy and his existence brought much happiness to everyone.
“There’s my little man . . . . How are you doing, you cute little punkin. Momma missed you today.” She picked him up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and nuzzled his face with her own.
“What have you been doing today? Did you miss momma?”.
Mary was in the kitchen peeling potatoes.
“I brought you a couple of magazines to read, Kim. ‘Us magazine and Psychology Today.’”
“John had a flat today . . . . Big news huh?” Kim said sarcastically. “Said he got really mad about it.” Luckily for John she didn’t know about John’s other news.
“Well that don’t surprise me at all . . . . He can be a real hot head. When is he going to go up to the mine and put in his application? Daddy said they’d hire him for sure. (It seemed that everyone wanted John to get a better job than driving a taxi.) He’d make a lot more money. I don‘t know what he‘s waiting for.”
“Well Mary, he’s wantin to work on that part time insurance agent job,“ replied Kim. “He thinks he can make pretty good money sellin insurance.”
“If you ask me, he needs to go to work in the mine with daddy,” Mary snapped back, “He‘d have a real good job up there.”
Mary was four years older than John and felt that her vast experience in life qualified her to tell him what to do. John usually took whatever she had to say with a grain-of-salt. In other words, he flat out ignored her.
* * * *
There was a garage door in the back wall of the basement. When John finished his shower, he put his pants on and opened the garage door. The yard opened up beyond the back of the house; it was green and lush. John sat down in a lawn chair, with remnants of unresolved sexual arousal, and lit a cigarette. “What a day,” he thought. He always felt good after taking a shower -- refreshed. “Life is good.” he thought, “really good, but what about Barb?” He was in quite a quandary.
John’s dog Lucky was in a pin at the back of the yard. He was a red haired cocker spaniel -- 2 yrs old. Lucky barked and ran back and forth in his pin, trying to get John ’s attention. “Shut up Lucky,“ he yelled at the dog, heading down through the yard to let him out. The rain had stopped, but the grass was wet and cool on his bare feet.
Once free, Lucky ran full out, as fast as he could, around the perimeter of the back yard. He ran past John over and over again like a bull charging a matador. John went into the storage shed and got some dog food for Lucky; he filled his water bowl from the faucet next to the shed and headed back toward the house.
Mary had been watching out the back window; she commented to Kim, “You should see Lucky run Kim; he’s running like a bullet shot out of a
gun.” She yelled out the window, “Dinners almost ready John ; come on in.”
John and Lucky went into the basement and John closed the garage door. Lucky beat him up the stairs and waited for him to open the door at the top. Once in the kitchen, Lucky barked and ran back and forth from Kim on the hid abed to Mary in the kitchen; finally, he stopped next to Kim on the hid abed, bowing down on his front legs, he began to bark at Davie.
“Now you leave Davie alone,“ John snapped at Lucky. He swung at Lucky and he cowered and ran to the kitchen. His exuberance left Lucky spent on the floor, with his tongue hanging out, and he panted heavily; his spittle dripped onto the floor. Lucky had been John’s pride and joy, until little Davie came along; now, he was second fiddle. Lucky didn’t know it though.
Dinner was ready and the three of them sat down to eat. Mary had fixed corn and green beans to go along with the potatoes and pork chops. The aroma of the food made their mouths water. John was tense; he was always tense when Mary was around. She constantly meddled in their lives and John resented it.
“So did you put in your application at the mine yet?” Mary inquired.
“Here we go,” John thought. “She never gives me a break.”
Rather than get into an argument with her, he simply said, “Goin up there tomorrow.” which wasn’t true, but he thought that should put an end to an unwanted conversation. They ate in silence. After finishing their meal, Mary cleared the dinner dishes and changed Davies’ diaper.
Little Davie started to make a fuss; he had been napping on the hid abed; it was dinner time for him too. Mary got a bottle out of refrigerator and put it on the stove to warm. After feeding the baby, they settled down to watch a little TV. John was half way planning to go out this evening to meet Barb, but decided to wait a while before leaving. Mary would be here for a while, watching TV with Kim and he thought it would be better if she were unaware that he was going out. John loved being married and having a baby, but he also liked his freedom. He was a regular a Will Pastorino’s tavern; he also loved his beer. He couldn’t keep his mind off of Barb. Should he meet her or not - what a dilemma. They watched TV for a little while and Mary made sure little Davie didn’t need anything.
“Will you be able to take care of Davie after I leave Kim?” Mary asked.
“I thought you were taking Davie back to your mom’s tonight.“
“Oh, Okay, I can do that; I just thought you were going to keep him tonight.”
“I would love to keep him, but I guess it really would be better if your mom watched him again tonight.“
* * * *
John had taken Lucky back outside and put him in his pen. He sat down in a lawn chair to relax after dinner. Kim didn’t like it when he went to Will’s tavern; she also didn’t like the fact that he drank beer, but she realized that there was nothing that she could do about it. She hated the fact that he smoked cigarettes: “Those things are nasty!” was her usual comment regarding John ’s smoking -- These ideas came from her strict Southern Baptist upbringing.
John smoked a cigarette and tried to think of a reason for him to leave the house tonight - Kim and Mary would be busy with little Davie so all he needed was a reason that Kim would accept without causing an argument. He didn’t mind lying if it really suited his purpose. A lodge meeting, that was it, he would tell her he had a lodge meeting; she never minded his lodge meetings. He thought about it; he was loosing his nerve - if he ever had any nerve in the first place.
It was going on 6:30 and if he was going to go he needed to just do it. There really wasn’t anything wrong with just meeting Barb for a drink. It wasn’t really a date. They could just have a drink and talk for a while. No harm in that. “It’s settled then,” he thought, “I‘ll just go meet her.”
John went back inside and without hesitation, said to Kim, “I’ve got a lodge meeting at 7:00 tonight, I hope you don’t mind. I’ll only be gone for a little over an hour. You’ll be alright with Mary here for a while won’t you?”
“I’ll be alright John . . . . Just don’t be too late.” Little did she know that her confidence was about to be compromised. After all, “what she didn’t know wouldn’t cause her any problems,” thought John .
“Spring showers bring May flowers,“ he thought, or some nonsense crap that his mother use to say; he dodged the rain drops, as he left his house and got in his cab to go to the tavern. John was nervous; his palms were sweating; he was about to do something that he kind of thought was wrong, but had decided to do it anyway. He wasn’t always stalwart - most of the time, but not always.
Barb was sitting at a table in the back of the bar. She had on a low cut blouse, tight jeans and her hair was in a ponytail. Her makeup was perfect and she couldn’t wait for John to get there. She was sexually on edge in apprehension of her encounter with John . She was over sexed and “had a thing” for almost every man she knew. - but this thing with John : “oh my god, this was really going to be sweet.”
John circled the block that the bar was on -- “couldn’t do it . . . . Shouldn’t do it.” . . . . He circled the block six times, then made his final decision. Despite the fact that he was sexually aroused, he finally said to himself, “I just can’t do it.” Maybe he was a better person than he thought he was.
He felt good about his decision. He was proud of himself. He would not compromise his marriage for a little conversation with another women.
He fantasized about what might have happened. It was vivid in his mind; he had even thought about the motel he would take her to. All that stemming from a brief encounter at Will’s bar. Now it wouldn’t happen; he was glad. He drove to the park at the lake where the city water works was located. He pulled into a parking space near the picnic tables, turned off the engine, turned on the radio, and prepared to wait for an hour to pass, and then he would go home; no harm done.
Barb waited; a half hour passed, then an hour. “He wasn’t coming . . . . I knew he wouldn’t show.” She finished her drink and left for home. “He had no idea what he was going to miss out on. . . .It was his loss.” she thought. Sometimes, he didn’t like himself when he did the right thing; “some people seem to have all the fun! They just have all the damn fun! Damn it, just damn it, that‘s all!”