Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
And all the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldn’t put the silly bastard together again.
We told him not to get so close the edge.
But the moron wouldn’t listen.
Now he’s all in pieces
And it’s his own ass he is a kissin’
There’s trouble in fairy tale land.
Ever since Humpty busted his ass.
The cops are talkin’ to everybody.
Somebody hurry and take a pottery class.
Quick get some airplane clue.
Just scrape him up and put him in a pale.
if we don’t get him fixed
They’re gonna blame it on us
and we’ll all wind up in jail.
Cause of this, the cup ran away with the spoon
and they’re in Vegas, drinkin' margaritas and layin in the sand.
Now he is a she and she is a he
and they’re doin an act at the MGM Grand.
Turns out little Bo Peep is really in drag
and has got a thing goin on with the sheep.
He’s messin with everybody.
This guy is really a creep.
The cow jumped over the moon,
cause she was messed up on crank.
The little toy soldiers all turned gay,
I’m serious, this ain’t no prank.
Little Boy Blue is poppin’ Little Miss Muffet.
While she eats her damn curds and whey.
He tried to get the spider to be a character witness.
But the eight legged vermin had nothing to say.
I Ain’t takin’ the rap for bustin up humpty.
Let’s blame it on Little boy blue.
He’s headed for jail anyway
And so I say “to your own self be true.”
The old lady in the shoe lost her kids,
Cause she lost her child support.
They were adopted by Donald Trump
And now they all live in an up-scale resort.
Tweedle dum and Tweedle dee
Have their hands down each others pants
They’re transfixed on being gay,
And walk around in a trance.
Cinderella dyed her hair and dressed up like Joan Jet
Now she, Snow White and Rapunzel are doing a three way
They’re listenin to Dylan and bustin’ a move.
They wound up in court, took the fifth
and sung a really nice groove….
Pinocchio checked out Tina Turner
and his nose is growin’
They’re puttin’ down some funk.
It’s his bad self he’ll be showin’
So we’re singin sunrise and sunset.
And the Snow Queen is hittin it with Father Time,
Who would of suspected they were Jewish.
neither one of ’em is goin to be set up for this crime.
Everyone’s been runnin’ around like the heads were copped off.
All this because Humpty busted his ass.
What? You got him fixed you say?
Don’t want this to happen again so coat his ass with brass!
Put him up on the wall to stay.
So the moral to this tale is “A stitch in time, saves nine.”
And The seven dwarfs said what the hell does that mean?
Keep Humpty away from the edge.
Just take some precautions,
and we’ll certainly avoid this scene.
And all the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldn’t put the silly bastard together again.
We told him not to get so close the edge.
But the moron wouldn’t listen.
Now he’s all in pieces
And it’s his own ass he is a kissin’
There’s trouble in fairy tale land.
Ever since Humpty busted his ass.
The cops are talkin’ to everybody.
Somebody hurry and take a pottery class.
Quick get some airplane clue.
Just scrape him up and put him in a pale.
if we don’t get him fixed
They’re gonna blame it on us
and we’ll all wind up in jail.
Cause of this, the cup ran away with the spoon
and they’re in Vegas, drinkin' margaritas and layin in the sand.
Now he is a she and she is a he
and they’re doin an act at the MGM Grand.
Turns out little Bo Peep is really in drag
and has got a thing goin on with the sheep.
He’s messin with everybody.
This guy is really a creep.
The cow jumped over the moon,
cause she was messed up on crank.
The little toy soldiers all turned gay,
I’m serious, this ain’t no prank.
Little Boy Blue is poppin’ Little Miss Muffet.
While she eats her damn curds and whey.
He tried to get the spider to be a character witness.
But the eight legged vermin had nothing to say.
I Ain’t takin’ the rap for bustin up humpty.
Let’s blame it on Little boy blue.
He’s headed for jail anyway
And so I say “to your own self be true.”
The old lady in the shoe lost her kids,
Cause she lost her child support.
They were adopted by Donald Trump
And now they all live in an up-scale resort.
Tweedle dum and Tweedle dee
Have their hands down each others pants
They’re transfixed on being gay,
And walk around in a trance.
Cinderella dyed her hair and dressed up like Joan Jet
Now she, Snow White and Rapunzel are doing a three way
They’re listenin to Dylan and bustin’ a move.
They wound up in court, took the fifth
and sung a really nice groove….
Pinocchio checked out Tina Turner
and his nose is growin’
They’re puttin’ down some funk.
It’s his bad self he’ll be showin’
So we’re singin sunrise and sunset.
And the Snow Queen is hittin it with Father Time,
Who would of suspected they were Jewish.
neither one of ’em is goin to be set up for this crime.
Everyone’s been runnin’ around like the heads were copped off.
All this because Humpty busted his ass.
What? You got him fixed you say?
Don’t want this to happen again so coat his ass with brass!
Put him up on the wall to stay.
So the moral to this tale is “A stitch in time, saves nine.”
And The seven dwarfs said what the hell does that mean?
Keep Humpty away from the edge.
Just take some precautions,
and we’ll certainly avoid this scene.